A Special Note to Hatcher

So it is almost midnight and the house is silent. I came down with the flu Friday and thankfully my good friend Brooke saved the day and took the kids to meet dad and then onto grandmas for the weekend. I am feeling better tonight, but its strange not having Hatcher right next to me. Last night even with throwing up and cold sweets I found myself hoping out of bed to Hatcher's cry. I guess its just habit. I think all of the stress has finally gotten to me and my body said no more. Last Friday I got the call I have been anxiously awaiting. Standford had finally made a decision on Hatcher's next open heart surgery that we were planning on happening in June. I was thinking they were going to be giving me an exact date and telling me what to plan for. Instead Hatcher's cardiologist from Primary Children's called with the news that we would not be doing surgery. Dr. Reddy (Hatcher's surgeon) likes them to be at least 30 lbs for the surgery. Hathcer weighs 22lbs. There is no question he needs the surgery, but in order to prevent future complications and avoid ending up on a transplant list he needs to be bigger. I was overwhelmed when I hung up the phone, relived, anxious, worried, all kinds of emotions and tears. I can't imagine life with out him. I have had so many thoughts. This note is for Hatcher, I love you and want you to know how wonderful you make life.

I can remember looking at you when you were this small. I never let my hopes go too far, I just tried to enjoy the moments I had with you. Now you are 2 and 1/2 and all I can think about are my hopes for you. You are a Mamas boy and I love that. Here are some of my favorite things you are doing right now.

• You insist on wearing your rubber boots everywhere we go. You even have been wearing them to church. It's not just the boots, it's the boots on the wrong feet and you are way too stubborn to let mom fix them!
• I always find things in my bed. Tractors, guns, plastic cows, you love sleeping with your toys.
• You sleep with us every night. I think that's my fault. I love that you sleep the best with your head on my chest. I love to hear the rhythm of your breathing and that you always want to hold my hand.
• There are so many days when you just don't feel good. I love that I sooth you. All you need is me to hold you and you are OK.
• I love that you hate getting your blood work done, and that you laughed when you watched me get mine done!
• I love that you lick the frosting off the top of a cup cake and throw the rest in the garbage by yourself.
• Your chipped front tooth.
• You will do anything to spend time with your horses and to be outside. Most of the time that's all you think about. I love that in order to get you to eat a good breakfast you make me pretend that I am feeding you oats just like the horses.
• I love that you love your sister. She is so good to you and you truly feel that. She is your life, if she is there you know it will be OK. I love to watch the two of you, she is so gentle with you, you are a lucky boy to have her, and she you.
• You love to push the little shopping cart at the grocery store and you run into everything because you won't let me help you.
• You love music and dancing with me in the kitchen. Your favorite song is Happy Birthday.
• You like me to paint your toenails.
• You wear your chaps to bed and take naps in your cowboy hat.
• Your favorite movie right now is Black Beauty.
• Although you spend lots of time crying, you love to laugh, the harder the better!
• Your favorite color is pink.
• You let out the loudest shrill when you hear the garage door opening and daddy comes home.

Hatcher I hate the thought of worrying, testing, pokes, echos, ekgs, and all the other things that come with having heart disease, but I will never take for granted just how special you are and the better person you have made me. I know the Lord knows what is best for you, and I will do my best to be patient and understanding. Thank you for loving me. Even when I have to hold you down so you can get an IV or draw blood you still love me, thank you for that sweet little Hatcher, you give me strength.

1st Grade Spelling Bee Champ

We are so proud of our little Spelling Bee Champ! Jaxyn won her class spelling bee and was able to compete in the big all school spelling bee against the other 1st graders who won their class spelling bees. She spelled lots of words and finally won it with a secret envelope word ... yellow, very appropriate for my little bumble bee. She definitely doesn't lack in confidence as she bounced up to the mike and spelled her words. We are so proud of you sis, what an accomplishment!

Friend Birthday Party

Girls day out! It was so fun to be with Jaxyn and her friends celebrating her 7th birthday. We were lucky to have Grandma Vauna in town to come with us too. The girls started out getting their nails done, then we went to the park, and then to Jaxyn's favorite spot for lunch, Daisy's. They enjoyed their volcano drinks and grilled cheese, not to mention the yummy treats they picked out. Thanks Shyanne, Rylee, and Alx for such a fun day! They are all such sweet girls and I really love being around them all. I am so grateful Jax has such good friends!

Baby Chicks

So I was a sucker this year and got the kids baby chicks for Easter. Jaxyn is such a little farm girl and we have been going to see the chicks at the store for the past few weeks. She loves to scoop them up and love on them! She would pack them around all day, but mom is afraid of germs, so she has controlled time and major hand washing after! Hatcher is just happy to be alive and gets so excited even though they make him a little nervous. He is so cute he goes to their little house in the garage and looks in, checking on them all day long. He sure misses Jaxyn while she is at school, and we play a game where he kisses me goodbye and I tell him to have a good day at school. He goes and does a few things then comes back and we do it again and again.

Egg Hunt

We took the kids to an Easter egg hunt at Valley Country Store. Jaxyn had won a coloring contest the day before and got a huge Easter basket filled with candy! I have to say she really did a good job on it with glitter, shading, and the works! I told her she is one lucky girl, she wins everything she tries! Anyway, at the egg hunt she found the egg that was good for a prize basket, and an egg painting kit, which she let Hatcher claim. We had such a fun day as a family being together doing so many fun things! Jaxyn I love your determination and great attitude! The funny thing is she really likes to see others win too, sometimes she feels bad if she wins and someone else doesn't, especially Hatcher, I hope you never lose that sis!

Funny story

I love my kiddos so much! They really bring me so much joy. I find myself always smiling even though things are a bit stressful. Jaxyn and Hatcher take such good care of me. Hatcher has started a new thing this week, calling me Britt instead of mom. He had done it several times one day and I told him not to call me Britt, call me Mama like he used to. He responded, "OK Britt." What a stinker! He is still up all the time during the night. I have been so tired lately and with him not feeling well it makes a great combo. The other night he was crying in my bed wanting to be walked around. Jaxyn was also in bed with us and I was trying to just pat his back to get him back to sleep. After a while of the crying he sits up in bed and says, "Hey guys, I am crying." Jaxyn pipes in. "We know, your always crying!" I ended up walking around bouncing him back to sleep, but I did it with a smile, what a stinker!

Ostrich Research

Jaxyn's class was learning about ostriches, so she asked our neighbors for some info since they have an ostrich ranch. She was thrilled when they gave her these feathers and egg to bring to school! This one egg is equal to 22 chicken eggs! Of course Hatcher loved it too!

Jaxyns 7th Birthday

Jaxyn, I can't believe you are turning 7, ugh where does the time go! We had so much fun at your disco birthday party. Your Favorite gift was your pogo stick!

Wheatley Cousins

We had a fun weekend with Ryan's family and the rest of the Wheatley crew. I love watching the kids with thier cousins, they always have so much fun. Thanks babe for all the pony rides, the kids loved it!

Chicken Noodle Soup

The kids love doing things with Papa Ralph. Jaxyn is always talking him into making brownies or something yummy. We all love his home made chicken noodle soup. The kids really got into to making home made noodles and flour was everywhere!

Echo

Hatchers appointment went really well down at Primary Children's. I am so proud of him, he is such a good little boy and is such a good sport getting poked and prodded all the time. We hope to have a surgery date soon. Hang in there sweet boy!

Hatcher's Art

So Hatcher is always excited to do any art project that involves anything other than crayons! He loves to paint, play play dough, and boy does he love markers! The other morning I got Hatcher cozy on the couch with his bottle, blanket, and his favorite show Caliou so I could get in the shower. When I got out I went out in the living room to check on him. He was no where and the house was quiet. Jaxyn's door was shut to her room and when I went in I discovered Hatcher, Jaxyn's markers, and a huge mess. I just had to laugh, the first words out of his mouth were, "Sorry Mom." So I got each of us a wash cloth and had him help me clean up. I was not too happy - all over jaxyn's bedding, walls, toys, in fact I am still finding green. But he kept looking at me saying, "This is fun - hu Mom?" He must have said that 10 times, trying to turn his uh oh into a fun activity for he and mom. I love you Hatcher!